Wedding of the Caribbean
by Windrises
Summary: Will and Elizabeth have been dying to get married. However, Jack thinks he and Elizabeth should be a couple. He enlists Barbossa to help him ruin Will and Elizabeth's relationship.


Note: Pirates of the Caribbean is owned by Disney and is based on a theme park ride.

Will Turner was sleeping in his room, in Jack Sparrow's ship. Suddenly, he heard the sound of a hand knocking on the door. Will assumed it was Jack, because Jack often woke up Will and forced him to pour him a glass of rum. Will was wearing pirate jammies. He yawned and opened the door. To his surprise, Elizabeth Swann was at the door, while ng a pink nightdress. Will said, "Hi, Elizabeth. What's going on?"

Elizabeth replied, "I'm sorry if I woke you up."

Will yawned again and said, "It's okay. I just tend to sleep in, because Jack keeps me up, with his parties and antics."

Elizabeth stated, "The sun is going to come out soon and I was wondering if you'd like to stare at the sun with me."

Will said, "If it's with you, that sounds lovely."

Elizabeth replied, "We'll meet up with each other, after we've both had breakfast."

Will responded, "Sounds good."

After Elizabeth walked away, Will closed the door and walked over to a cabinet in his room. He opened the cabinet and pulled out a pair of rings. He and Elizabeth hadn't gotten engaged and Will had been considering proposing to her, for a very long time. Will whispered to himself, "Maybe today's the right day." He started getting nervous, so he said, "It's too big of a risk." He put the rings back in the cabinet.

Captain Jack Sparrow and Captain Hector Barbossa were lounging around Jack's ship. It was early in the morning, but Jack had already drank three bottles of rum and he was considering having a fourth bottle. Barbossa tried to grab one of Jack's bottles of rum, but Jack gave him a disapproving look. Barbossa sighed and started drinking some milk.

Jack was in a more energetic mood, due to drinking so much rum, but the rum also made him have more crazy ideas in his head. He nudged Barbossa and said, "Believe it or not, I think I have a great idea."

Barbossa replied, "No offense, you're infamous for your misguided shenanigans."

Jack said, "Well, I'm being smart, this time."

Barbossa replied, "Then I'll try to hear you out. What's your idea?"

Jack said, "Well, it occurred to me that Elizabeth Swann should be dating me, rather than Will."

Barbossa knew Will and Elizabeth were already in a serious relationship and that Jack had bad luck with women, so he shook his head and said, "I'm sorry, Jack, but I don't think you and Ms. Swann would work out."

Jack was filled with energy, so he jumped out of his car and started shaking his arms around. He looked back at Barbossa and said, "Elizabeth's very pretty, especially by pirate standards. She's also charming and smart. As for me, I'm clearly the most delightful and loveable pirate, that any sea has ever seen. Elizabeth should make Will walk the plank and should start dating yours truly."

Barbossa replied, "Come on, Jack. Have you ever had one successful date?"

Jack paused and thought about it. He sighed and said, "When it comes to romance, I was a bit of a thoughtless doofus, but I've changed a lot, in the past couple of years. I'm so amazing, that I'm surprised that Elizabeth hasn't begged me to date her, at this point. I blame that nasty Will guy. Since those two were childhood friends, Elizabeth thinks she and Will were destined to love each other. However, I believe that her nostalgia is clouding her judgment."

Barbossa replied, "I believe your overabundance of rum is clouding your common sense. To be honest, I think Elizabeth belongs with me, because I'm more handsome than you or Will. However, she's already picked who she wants to be with, so there's nothing we can do about it."

Jack started jumping up and down, before saying, "Hold on. Will and Elizabeth aren't married, yet. They've just been dating, so there's still time to ruin their relationship." He started looking around the ship, before asking, "Where are those two?" Barbossa shrugged his shoulders. Jack said, "I better have a fourth bottle of rum, before I go talk to Elizabeth. By the time I'm finished with that, I'm sure she'll be nearby."

Meanwhile, Will and Elizabeth, who changed into their pirate uniforms, walked out of their rooms and started walking to a part of the ship, that nobody was around and had a good view of the sun. Elizabeth said, "Good morning."

Will replied, "Any morning, that you are in, is better than good."

Elizabeth said, "Well, I think I know how to make this morning better, than good or great."

Will replied, "I understand. You want to stare at the sunshine."

Elizabeth responded, "Well, sure, but if I'm being honest, I just said that, so I'd have an excuse to have you come to me."

Will smiled and said, "You never have to find a reason, for me to want to see you. I think you're the loveliest woman, inside and out, so I never need another reason, for wanting to be with you."

Elizabeth blushed and replied, "I'm flattered, but let's no get off-track."

Will asked, "How can I get on track, when I don't even know what you're talking about?"

Elizabeth smiled, while saying, "You'll know what I'm talking about, soon enough."

Will said, "Okay then. What's going on?"

Elizabeth replied, "Hold on a minute, honey. I don't feel like standing."

Will responded, "Um, okay."

Elizabeth got down on one knee, which confused Will. She gazed at Will, with a smile on her face. Will was still confused, but he also smiled. She pulled a ring out of her jacket's pocket and asked, "Will you marry me?"

Will felt shocked, but he quickly said, "Of course." Elizabeth grins and puts the ring on Will's finger. Will said, "To be honest, I feel a bit ashamed of myself."

Elizabeth asked, "Why is that?"

Will said, "A few months ago, I got a couple of wedding rings. I was planning on proposing to you, but I was too much of a coward. Everyday, since then, I've been considering proposing to you. I'm sorry about my lack of confidence. I just kept worrying, that it wasn't the right time."

Elizabeth put her arm around Will and replied, "It's fine. You were being level-headed, not cowardly. Will, I have another thing I ask of you."

Will asked, "What is it?"

Elizabeth said, "I was wondering if you'd change your last name, rather than me changing my name, when we get married. It's nothing personal, but I'm tired of the woman always having to change her name, everytime. It's a bit outdated, don't you think?"

Will replied, "Yes. Plus, by me changing my last name to yours, I'll finally be a swan."

Elizabeth looked amused, while asking, "You want to be a bird?"

Will replied, "It might be fun."

Elizabeth said, "I'm excited we're engaged."

Will replied, "We're going to have the best wedding." He and Elizabeth kissed each other.

A few minutes later, Jack finished his fourth bottle of rum. He started prancing around the ship. He started dancing around, while singing. He looked around and found Elizabeth, so he ran up to her and said, "Greetings, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth replied, "Greetings, Captain Sparrow."

Jack said, "There's an important topic, that I wish to discuss with you."

Elizabeth replied, "I have a lot I'll be needing to do, so I'm afraid you'll have to make it quick."

Jack said, "I have an idea, that's so groundbreaking and exciting, that it's going to brighten your heart."

Elizabeth replied, "That's how I already feel."

Jack said, "Well, you're going to be the happiest woman in the world, after you hear what I'm about to suggest."

Elizabeth replied, "I see. What's up?"

Jack said, "I think it's about time you and Will stop dating. Do you really want to date that guy, any longer?"

Elizabeth replied, "The days, of me and Will dating, are over."

Jack looked thrilled, while asking, "Really?"

Elizabeth replied, "Yes, he and I are engaged. Instead of dating, we will be married."

Jack said, "Oh, no." Jack was so upset, that he grabbed a flag off of his ship and ripped it in half. He walked back to Barbossa and sat down, while grabbing his fifth bottle of rum.

Barbossa noticed Jack was looking gloomy, so he asked, "What's wrong?"

Jack explained, "Will and Elizabeth got engaged."

Barbossa said, "I admit I'm not thrilled to hear that, but it might be for the best."

Jack shook his head and replied, "Will would be a terrible husband, for Elizabeth. He's too generic and bland. He doesn't bloom with eloquence, like I do."

Barbossa raised an eyebrow and asked, "Are you saying you should be Elizabeth's husband?"

Jack laughed in Barbossa's face and replied, "I would never want to get married. That requires commitment, which is something Jack Sparrow never believes in. However, I do want to date Elizabeth. I enjoyed it, when she kissed me, even if she tried to sacrifice me to an octopus."

Barbossa responded, "I'd suggest not trying to make Elizabeth swoon over you. If you play your cards wrong, she might throw you off your own ship and strand you on an island."

Jack looked annoyed at Barbossa, while saying, "That's what you did to me."

Barbossa replied, "Considering how easy it was to do, you weren't very good at being a captain, back then."

Jack said, "Well, my days of being a failure, when it comes to being a captain and a charmer, are over. I'm going to charm Elizabeth's socks off. She won't have a single sock in her dresser, after I charm them all away."

Barbossa asked, "How are you going to do that?"

Jack started pacing around the ship, while trying to create a master plan. After a few minutes of thinking, he said, "I wish I could convince Will to forget about Elizabeth, but that lovesick fool wouldn't listen to me. I need to trick him, into thinking Elizabeth wants to break up with him."

Barbossa asked, "How are you going to do that?"

Jack said, "I'll need your help, in order to trick him."

Several minutes later, Will heard a knock on his door. He thought Elizabeth would be at the door and would want to discuss the wedding. However, Barbossa was at the door. His bear was gone and he wearing a purple dress and a blonde wig. Will had a confused look on his face, while asking, "What's going on?"

Barbossa replied, "I'm Elizabeth and I'm afraid to drop off a piece of sad news. I'm sorry, Will, but you and I have to break up. You're a nice guy and all, but you aren't my type. We're going to have to go our separate ways. In fact, you shouldn't be on this ship, anymore. You should go back to Orlando or whatever city you're from."

Will looked upset, while saying, "Barbossa, why are you pretending to be Elizabeth?"

Barbossa replied, "I'm not Barbossa. I'm Elizabeth Swann."

Will asked, "Do you think I'm an idiot?"

Barbossa sighed and replied, "No I don't. You're too plain and average, to be dumb."

Will responded, "You better have a good reason, for dressing up like my future wife."

Barbossa replied, "Jack Sparrow pressured me into doing it. He wants to separate you and Elizabeth."

Will raised his eyebrows. Although he suspected Jack thinking Elizabeth was pretty, he was shocked to hear that Jack wanted to ruin his and Elizabeth's relationship.

Will walked around the ship, before finding Jack, who was drinking his sixth bottle of rum. He said, "Jack, I'm ashamed of you."

Jack asked, "Why?"

Will said, "You tried to trick me into thinking Elizabeth wants to dump me."

Jack replied, "I did it for a very good reason. I think Elizabeth should be dating me, rather than marrying you."

Will responded, "Elizabeth and I are in love. Don't try to ruin what we have."

Jack said, "You don't deserve her."

Will replied, "I don't disagree. She's a lot smarter and prettier than I am. I don't know why she loves me so much, but I couldn't be more thankful that she does."

After Will went back to his room, Barbossa changed into his pirate uniform and walked back to Jack. Barbossa nudged Jack and said, "That was humiliating and it didn't help you, with your plan to get Elizabeth back."

Jack replied, "Don't worry, old friend. Although you're a cool guy, you're not good at disguising yourself. I don't have that problem. That's why I'm going to become a master of disguise, in order to fool Elizabeth."

A few minutes later, Jack knocked on Elizabeth's door. He was planning on tricking Elizabeth, into thinking he was Will. In order to seem like Will, Jack was wearing a plain t-shirt, clean pants, and a tie. Also, he cut off his dreadlocks.

Elizabeth opened the door and said, "Hi, Captain Sparrow."

Jack replied, "I'm Will Turner and I'm here to call off the wedding."

Elizabeth looked annoyed, while saying, "Grow up." She closed the door.

Jack sighed and said, "I got rid of my dreadlocks and got nothing out of it."

Barbossa walked up to him and said, "Your disguise didn't trick her, did it?"

Jack shook his head and replied, "It appears I'll have to do something else, to make Will and Elizabeth's relationship crumble apart."

Barbossa asked, "What could you possibly do?"

Jack started brainstorming. Suddenly, an idea popped in his head. Jack said, "I'm going to make sure Will looks unpresentable, on the day of the wedding."

Will and Elizabeth were planning on getting married on a nearby island, the following day. They had hired a preacher and both bought outfits for the wedding. They didn't bother with a best man, because they assumed any pirate, that they hire for best man, would sell the rings.

On the night before the wedding, Jack went into Will's room. Will was asleep. Jack dug around Will's dresser, before finding Will's wedding tuxedo. Jack grabbed the tuxedo and threw it into the ocean. Afterwards, he grabbed some scissors and cut off Will's hair. Barbossa came into the room, with paint supplies. Jack and Barbossa started giggling, while painting Will's face, with a pink paintbrush. They used the same paintbrush, on Will's arms and hands.

The next morning, Will woke up and was excited about the wedding. However, he looked in a mirror and realized what he looked like. He nervously said, "Oh, no. My skin's been painted pink and I'm bald." Will dug around his dresser, for his tuxedo, but he quickly realized it was gone. He said, "I can't go to the wedding, while looking like this. Elizabeth would think I'm not taking the wedding seriously. If anything, it looks I'm cosplaying as the Pink Panther."

Elizabeth strolled around the ship, in her pirate uniform. She planned on changing into her wedding dress, when she got to the island. Will walked up to her, while wearing a green mask and gloves, to cover up his pink skin. Elizabeth said, "Hi, Will. Why are you wearing a mask? Are you trying to become a superhero or something?"

Will sighed and relied, "I'm afraid not. Elizabeth, I don't think we can get married, today."

Elizabeth asked, "Why not?"

Will replied, "It's hard to explain, but I'm not properly prepared. I want to get married to you, more than anything, but that wouldn't work out, in my current condition."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow and asked, "Current condition? What are you talking about? If you're going to say something as major, as delaying our wedding, you need to look me in the eye and explain why." She started reaching for Will's mask. Will tried to keep it on, but Elizabeth yanked it off and saw his pink face. She looked confused, while asking, "What happened?"

Will replied, "I don't know, but when I woke up, my face, arms, and hands were pink. Also, I suddenly became bald. I can't believe I look my worst, on the day that was supposed to be my best."

Elizabeth responded, "You do know that's paint, right? You could probably just wash it off."

Will replied, "I put some sink water on my face, but it didn't make much of a difference." He looked at the sea the ship was in and said, "Maybe a dip could clean up my face." He dunked his head in the sea. A few minutes later, most of the pink paint had been washed off.

Elizabeth said, "See? You look great."

Will replied, "But my hair's gone."

Elizabeth responded, "It's not a big deal."

Will replied, "But my tuxedo disappeared."

Elizabeth responded, "You could wear the pirate uniform, that you're currently wearing. You could even wear your pajamas, if you wanted to. I'm not going to let a few superficial problems ruin this wedding."

Will smiled and replied, "I'm relieved to hear that. I can't believe I even considered delaying this wedding. I've been dying to marry you, for months."

Elizabeth responded, "I've been thinking about our future, ever since we were kids."

Will said, "I wonder who painted me. Frankly, I think Jack's responsible for it."

Elizabeth replied, "Jack's been a real troublemaker, hasn't he?" Will nodded. Elizabeth said, "Well, let's not let Jack ruin our big day."

Will responded, "Sounds good." Elizabeth kisses Will.

A moment later, Will and Elizabeth walked up to Jack, who was playing cards with Barbossa, while drinking a bottle of rum. Elizabeth said, "Captain Sparrow, there's something I need to tell you."

Jack turns around and smugly smiles. He said, "I'm hoping this involves you dumping your pink-faced boyfriend." He looked at Will, who is no longer pink.

Elizabeth said, "You've been trying to ruin Will and I's relationship, which is pretty shady of you. I'm afraid we won't be able to invite you to the wedding, if you keep this up."

Jack replied, "Then I'll be on my best behavior."

Will responded, "That's good to hear."

Elizabeth looked at Will and said, "We better get to the island, as soon as possible." Will nods. The two of them get on a canoe and start rowing to the island.

Barbossa looked at Jack and said, "I'm suspecting you're not going to be on your best behavior."

Jack replied, "I have another trick up my sleeves. I've invited an old friend, who's going to make sure Elizabeth and Will don't tie the knot."

A short time later, Will and Elizabeth got to the island. Since Will's tuxedo drowned in the sea, Will and Elizabeth decided to just wear their pirate uniforms. Because of that, it didn't take them long to get ready. They stood around and waited for the guests to arrive.

About a half-hour later, a few dozen pirates were sitting down, while waiting for the wedding to begin. Davy Jones was the preacher. Will and Elizabeth held hands, while walking each other down the aisle.

Davy Jones said, "We are gathered here, to unite these two pirates in marriage. Some say that the life of a pirate means you can never find true love, because all pirates think about is treasure. However, Will and Elizabeth's greatest treasure is the love they have for each other. If anybody objects -"

Suddenly, James Norrington started running down the aisle. Jack had a big smirk on his face, because he told Norrington about the wedding, so he could crash it. Norrington folded his arms and said, "I object to this wedding."

Elizabeth looked at him and asked, "Why would you do that?"

Norrington answered, "Because I love you."

Elizabeth said, "I'm sorry, but you aren't the one I love."

Norrington replied, "You can't marry Will. I love you more than he does and I have much more dedication to you."

Elizabeth had a confused look on her face, while asking, "What are you talking about?" Norrington pulled a diaper out of his jacket, which had the phrase "I love Elizabeth more than that silly Will guy" written on it.

Jack whispered, "I told Norrington, to make me sound charming. Instead, he's making himself look like a baby."

Elizabeth said, "Norrington, this is such childish behavior. I'm not going to marry you."

Norrington sighed and replied, "I see, but you shouldn't marry Will. My other diaper will show the man you belong with." Norrington pulled another diaper out of his jacket, which had a picture of Jack Sparrow on it. Elizabeth and Will rolled their eyes.

Will said, "Norrington, you better get out of here."

Norrington replied, "But Jack bribed me, to try to make Elizabeth dump Will and start dating him."

Elizabeth responded, "I'm sorry, Norrington, but you need to get going and so does Jack."

Norrington sighed and replied, "Very well then."

Jack reluctantly started walking away. He looked at Norrington and said, "You failed, you big baby."

Norrington replied, "Speaking of babies, could you change my diaper?" Jack facepalmed.

Davy Jones looked back at Will and Elizabeth, before saying, "Well, that's enough objections. William Turner, do you agree to take Elizabeth Swann, to be the love of your life?"

Will answered, "Absolutely."

Davy Jones said, "Elizabeth Swann, do you agree to have Will be your husband?"

Elizabeth answered, "Of course."

Davy Jones responded, "Then I pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Swann. You may kiss the pirate." Will and Elizabeth kissed each other. Despite how much Jack tried to ruin it, Will and Elizabeth got married. It was a day they knew they'd always treasure, because they both knew no gold held more value than true love.


End file.
